Dynamic one does it again

Derrick once again had a great race today. I will start with the positive and then finish off with my race reports. I got to get it out and then move on........

So, Derrick has somehow overcome his bad starting that he had in his first few UCI races this year (maybe handed it off to me) and is rocking it. Today he road with the newly crowned National Champion (Kabush) and Tim Heemskerk (he's from the Netherlands but now lives in Alberta and could not compete yesterday due to his nationality). Today Derrick got with the leaders right off the gun and the trio worked hard to stay ahead and gap the rest of the field, at a few points Derrick was leading the two around. In the end Derrick ended up third again, but its been pretty awesome to see Derrick snap out of the bad luck he had during our first few weeks of the race season. I was a little worried when we went to Michigan and saw he was getting smoked off the gun. I couldn't figure it out and then I just kept questioning him on how he started and now he's got it right. He can power through anything (anyone who has ridden with him knows this), but in cross if your not there off the gun most of the time it is in possible for you to make up ground later in the race. You can't win cross from the back!!!!! So congrats to Derrick, I know how hard he works and how frustration can set in sometimes. Well maybe too well, cause somehow that's how my weekend went.


Ultimately you would try and put in a little minute peak for nationals, but some how I think the plan to race 5 times 2 weeks ago and then travel all over North American, then come home, put in a little mini destruction week that my coach gave me and then hope to recover for Nationals all blew up in my face. I must admit, it was a good lesson, and I realized a lot of things out of this weekend.

First off, Nationals race........I went into this race with the worse attitude ever, I thought it was good motivation but it wasn't. See, I wanted to prove a lot this weekend to other people, because I thought I might get a little more respect and also things might be a little easier for me as far as financially. So far Derrick and I haven't been able to find any sponsors to help us out financially. We have a lot of support through product but basically no money to get anywhere. Also to prove my first 4 UCI wins two weeks ago weren't flukes or cause there wasn't any competition. There actually was good competition, I was just on some stellar form, had some courses that were technically what I was good at and ended up running away with some bigger margin victories. The number one thing I learnt out of this is you can't do things for others. If you want to win a race, you always got to do it for yourself. It doesn't work any other way.

Anyways, incredibly nervous on the start line yesterday, I bobbled a bit and missed my pedal, started way back behind some girls and started taking risks everywhere in the first 2 minutes of the race. By accident I went around the second corner and right through the pit lane. My mistake for trying to pass 3 girls through the corner and no where to go but into the pit or into a stake. For that right there I was DQ'd for not jumping off my bike in the pit and using the lane as an advantage to pass people. I didn't know it at the time and not a minute later I cooked it hard in an uphill off camber turn and rolled my front tire out of the rim. Dead last again, like last year at Nationals, but this year I crashed myself out. I just call this some kind of National curse I have. I started running in panic mode and realized I had about 1 km to go to the pits and I was going to have to run all over the course. I rolled off the course and got some one to put my tire back on realized that now my day was done for sure.

At first I didn't know what to think. I had put everything into my training this year for cross. I thought I could be and wanted so bad to have the national champs jersey on me for the year. I was shocked that my race was only 2 minutes. I rolled around the backside of the course trying to bite the tears down. When I finally saw Derrick, I just said "I don't know". I didn't want to get upset in front of him and ruin his race, so I just held it in. Then I had to go on a mission to find the right person to tell them that I left the race. Finally I found them and the next minute I know the announcer shoves the microphone in my face "So, Natasha what happened out there today"? I did my best to explain my awful start and then just cooking it hard to pass people leading to my crash as I rolled my tire. After that little mini interview I rolled around the park and let a few tears roll down my face.

The national title wasn't meant to be this year. It would be a lot of pressure to carry it around and I thought I was ready but I guess not. Not if I wasn't lining up to win for myself. If I want it, it has to be for me and not to prove to others that I can have. Me and only me.

Last night was a pretty horrible sleep, the same sleep I had after the World cup in Montreal on the road this year, when I crashed only a few laps into the race and slid down the mountain. I kept thinking all last night, it was all a dream, I get to race for the National title today, its okay. I've had a lot of awful luck in high level races this year and I'm not sure why. I haven't been choking, most of the time I haven't had enough time in the race to choke. But somehow the luck has never been great. But that's bike racing. It's kind of 50/50. There is a lot of variables and sometimes they are not favourable. In bike racing, you are going to lose way more races than you can ever win. The one thing is there is always a new race around the corner.

Today at the Jim Horner UCI race I was hoping for a lot better. It was a bit better, but not myself. There was no push in my legs, no snap, no jump and oh yeah no front row start position. Totally weird, they called us up early today and some of us were still going through bike check, and if we weren't there they just gave our front row position away. Kabush got a fine as a result of this and then just charging to the line anyways. Never had any race officials do this before, it was out of character. So once again, horrible start as usually I would be front row and wouldn't have a problem. I tried to get up there and took some risks and got into third about half way through the first lap and then I had another mechanical. My chain dropped and I spent half a minute trying to get it back on. From then on I was 4th in the race, had a couple other spills and never really got in any kind of rhythm on the course.

Nothing was there for me this weekend and I'm glad Derrick picked up the slack like in Vegas. When I race well, he races horribly and when he races well, I race horribly. We have yet to find the dynamicity that we have had on some days (yeah that is a word and if you don't think so, read on; Dynamicity means creating systems which are able to cope with change and intrusions from outside it). I'm hoping some how it will come, as long as we do it for each other and ourselves.

At least I got to see my brother in law and sister this weekend. They came out from Calgary to give Derrick and I some support and a cheering section. Thanks Chris and Katherine, I'm sorry my performance wasn't there but it was nice to see you both after over a year. Also thanks for Robby O. for his work in the pits for Derrick and I. We really appreciated your help!

NCE